You can go now, the light has changed...

Been battered and down for so long
it’s hard to know which way is up
until I saw the light and realized
I am not alone.

Escaping loneliness has proven a formidable task for me. I have worked my entire life to develop enriching relationships with those around me. I am a pleaser and a hard-worker, I enjoy music & art, I love theater and find that I can never get enough. A new love has been writing - it has been a strong medicine that has gone a long way to help mend the cracks in my facade. It has also been a bitter pill to swallow as my writing has transformed from dark, brooding stories & poems to somehow deeper, but lighter fare that my soul seems to be feasting upon. I really cannot write enough these days and have some pretty lofty writing plans/goals for myself over the next two years.

Find that one thing that makes your soul perculate. What is it for you? What is your one thing? Changes cause fear but also build character and bring strength. Can you imagine being in the same place you were a year ago? How about five years ago? Maybe even two months ago?

Serenity comes about through acceptance of our past and present. Finding that peace is a challenge for any human that faces their past, stands down the present and moves torward to future with trepidation. Deep breaths, understanding who you really are, and trusting that there is a purpose for today circulates the joy necessary to maintain a life in repair. Love who you are and recognize the path that only you can travel. That recognition lifts the fog of fallacies allowing you to see the flowers and happiness that line your way.

The light is before you - smile at it and proceed with hope.

True Life

Bright eyes tell me
of love and birth
with true life
waiting around a corner
unseen by most
save you and me.

True life
means living out
and staying here
to cherish words,
moments, and flashes
of christening light.

Staying here
is a move for love
when times seemed
futile and a scarcity
of lightness
piqued weary eyes.

Times seemed
long and lonely
until bright eyes
woke from a sound
slumber of one
fate after another.

Bright eyes
strengthen hearts
and tie bonds
where slip knots
fail to exist
and illuminate
a tale of true life.

a red hood

Rare is the world
where fragile water
brims the edges
of wonderment and hope.

Rare is the day
when joy overcomes
the sorrows of yesterday
with the laughter of today.

Rare is a time
when peace comes
without consequences
or tender mercies revealed.

Rare is a heart
that can take the tides
and rise above
to view the new plane.


Fragile water and tender merices
given:
without cost or retort.
Just lighter eyes and souls in flight;

the better to see you with, my dear.

Your rainbow will come smiling thru...

It’s magic and poetry...,
Life and living it.
Words capture and transcend
time and place.

To far off fantasies
of castles on clouds
and princes in pursuit
of justice and right.

Of pumpkin patches
and prancing white horses
and cool marble floors
where bare feet glide.

Resting on satin pillows
are dreams of the perfect
fit...
Slippers to unmatched
wealth - so rich in love.

Songs in flight,
wrapped in bubbles
of sweetness and hope,
finding a soft place to land.

Do you hear the lilt?
Do you thirst for this plane?
Happily ever after
became enchanted
by the soft sapphire light
of midnight.


once upon a time happens now...

Nothing You Can See That Can't Be Shown

The ghastly, worldly take on Easter, full of ugly pastel colors and waxy chocolate, diminishes a beautiful message of hope and new life. I love the delight it brings to my children and the day that it has become for me - time spent with them. But the commecialization is a sticky mess and I freely admit, I sometimes, get caught in it.

Religion is a touchy subject for many and not a good argument to incite. Family, religion and politics are never a good combination. Trust me. Believe me. I was raised in very strict, religious home and I am truly thankful for my upbringing. Being the gregarious, some-what wild individual that I am, without the base that was instilled in me from birth, I may have been in some serious trouble throughout my youth and most of my adulthood. I am also very thankful for the teachers, professsors, mentors, and friends that have exposed me to other views and opened my mind to the possibility that there may be more to believe and embrace than what I was initially taught.

It all comes down to one word - not charity, not faith and more than hope...

LOVE. True, unconditional love and what we would sacrifice for it. To feel blessed for the giving and receiving of that love is to recoginize the source.
No arguments or disgruntled feelings are worth the diminishing feelings they incite.

Most good things can be boiled (like an Easter egg) down to a Beatles song...

Love, love, love.
There’s nothing you can do that can’t be done.
Nothing you can sing that can’t be sung.
Nothing you can say but you can learn how to play the game
It’s easy.
There’s nothing you can make that can’t be made.
No one you can save that can’t be saved.
Nothing you can do but you can learn how to be in time
It’s easy.
All you need is love, all you need is love,
All you need is love, love, love is all you need.
Love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love.
All you need is love, all you need is love,
All you need is love, love, love is all you need.
There’s nothing you can know that isn’t known.
Nothing you can see that isn’t shown.
Nowhere you can be that isn’t where you’re meant to be.
It’s easy.
All you need is love, all you need is love,
All you need is love, love, love is all you need.
All you need is love (all together now)
All you need is love (everybody)
All you need is love, love, love is all you need.


Care because you can - tomorrow may be different.  And what happens if it is; 
what would you do?  Do not languish in sorrow but leap in the joy found in
the eyes of a child or the person you love. 

There is no greater light that streams from above.

Tinkling cymbals

Care not for yesterday
and the troubles once known.
But rise to meet today
and spring to life tomorrow.

For joy promised
is joy received
when hearts are open
and souls throw caution to the wind.

Give because
giving brings countless degrees
of knowledge and fills
coffers that sputter and wane.

Listen to the sounding brass
of time and scope
the shore for
a footprint you recognize.

Catch your breath
and hold it close
for catching shows you can
and releasing brings another chance.

Skip when possible
and whistle while merry.
Away the time that once
stood still.

Global in view,
precise in response,
hesitation is lost
as lines fade and walls
of fear crumble
to a waiting earth
where beauty grows
and fields of green
thirst.

Hungry no more,
in harmony
with the music and stories
of gallant men
and brave women.
To life...

across my universe

Points in a life
measure significance,
not time.

Significance irradicates
conclusions when
new universes are born.

Imagine a light so bright
you are drawn to it,
you crave it.

Most wear hats or sunglasses
or worse yet- turn their heads,
to shield the blinding source.

But I stretch out my arms
recieving empowerment
and breath.

No shade save
what is filtered
by the new spring leaves.

Catching a sigh
and milking words,
Life explodes to dreams.

Dream and hope
for you’ve got to have a dream.
If you don’t have a dream,
How you gonna have a dream come true?

Never Believe it's Not So.

Could I be the Mona Lisa,
smiling with purpose
and showing the world
I know something they do not?

Could I be a Play,
with a chilling subplot
wrapped tightly around
a rich story of love?

Perhaps I am a Song,
a complicated but happy tune
sure to incite dancing
under the streetlights, in the rain?

It must be magic that draws
life to love,
eyes to smiles,
and butterflies to dance -
while words play
their soliloquy in time.

Take these Broken Wings

No hands but yours
touch my face.

No voice but yours
do I hear.

How does my heart know?
it leaps for joy
when thoughts ring bright
and aches with pain
when time moves too quickly
together
or drags endlessly on
apart...

No eyes but yours
see the real me,
love the real me,
want the real me...

No love but ours
captures my soul
and gives me wings

No more singing
alone
in the dead of night

Just lessons of flight
and
moments arrived

and love with you...

One Sure Thing

My heart stood still today.
I saw you across the way
and silence interrupted
the progressive beats.

You were right when
you said our worlds
have collided, melded
and spilled over
into each other.

Agreeing with you is easy.
Time and relationships
have taught me that
this is not such a simple truth.

My heart skipped a beat today.
I saw you across the way
and you were running toward me,
sun and smile on your face.

You were right when
you said the "missing part"
would be hard and that
the "loving you" part was easy.


I have heard the words and
felt the colors of loneliness.
I know them.
I have seen the brilliance of joy
and smelled the rush of love.
I know them now.

I am no longer lonely
for I have found my missing piece.
I wasn't even looking,
I was running..., away.
You say happiness is for us...

And I say,
Agreeing with you is easy.
It's one sure thing...

until you.

Why do we speak in hushed whispers
when the world is locked away
and the only sounds are the
beats of our hearts?

Perhaps the sacredness of what is
spoken absorbs sound and carries it away.
Maybe we fear the spell will be broken
and what we hold right then and there
will be pulled from us and shattered.

Even movement is muted
and the light changed
when our tones are meant for
only our ears.

Living out
and dreaming in
takes us to places
we never knew existed.

This is where
worlds collided
and
life changed.

We fly over the crowds
together
with happy minds and
wake with delightful vengeance
to take the next breath
and seek the next
luminous traces of rays
that stream randomly on
shadows of yesterday,
faces of tomorrow,
and
joys of today.



love was just a word
until hushed tones
and you.

It just is.

how can it be?
there exists an us

how can it be?
my face yearns for your touch

can it be?
light changes all

can it be?
joy follows the fall

Osmosis.
Lines faded,
permeable only by you.
gifts measured by
skipped beats
and
sorrows forgotten.


it is simple: i love you.

Streaming rays

How can it be that thoughts stop
when I am still moving?

How can it be that words
mean more than they did before?

Amazing the grace that saves
those who search and seek.
Calming the tides
that slowly rise to meet that
time and place.

I heard news of stillness
and change.
Hope brings life full cycle and
light shakes out the dread
and sorrow
unneeded for now.

Streaming on faces
are rays that sear tomorrow's joys
and erase the lines of yesterday.
Warmth unknown and treasures
not yet found
await the dreamers and keepers
of pierced hearts and open souls.

Hush sounds the chimes
of new-fallen snow,
cleaning spiritual slates
and spinning clocks
of impassioned affection.

sweet is the word.
sweet is the thought.

I miss you

I miss you.


my heart still beats.
is it possible
that it hasn't all been
dashed against the rocks of time...

my ears still yearn.
hearing brings delight
to a soul twisted and ravaged
by inconsistencies and blame.

constellations await
new light and fire.
skipping beats
trip a heart yet,
somehow, save a soul.

it waits for me

Lost in a sea
of words and links.
Am I here at all,
or just a planned figment...

Found in a room
of pleasure and pain.
So sure it was better
for all concerned.

Scoping the horizon,
seeing hope and affection
where once there was none,
only gasping breaths
of a time gone by.

Now clean lines
and sleek dips
grace new days
of reform and joys
not yet known.

It is safe here...,
surrounded by arms
of family and love.
Affection so sweet
and warm,
no expiration date.
Just seas of glass and
music in bloom.

Smooth sailing from here
to beyond eternity.
...it waits for me still.

coconut and caramel

I once heard about coconut dreams
and caramel cores,
I didn't believe they existed.

I saw unicorns and dragons
in flickering light.
I wanted to believe they grazed
and braised.

I yearned for castles in the air,
princes on white horses
that saved days and damsels.
I hoped they were real.

But dinosaurs come at night
stealing hearts and
torture me
'til quaking.

shhhh...,
soft breezes I hear.
Think and release...

Years of chains fall
meekly away
when softened by strength
in numbers
and smothered
by the freeing light
of internal poise.

Coconut dreams and caramel cores;
a place where
traces of rays
lift and light.

Chains no more.
Just a wide open shore
of possibilities...

Cassanova and Delilah

Cassanova sits on the stairs
Shirt bloodied and torn.
Blame spews out of him
like the flames of hell.

Delilah quakes in the corner,
twirling the ring on her finger,
hot blood drips down her chin
and runs cold through her heart.

He maniacally broke through
the heavy door,
carelessly tossing aside dreams
and long-lost hopes,
drenched in despair.

She cowered in awe
of what had become
the norm of her so-called life;
duck and cover,
the flames licked so close.

She once seemed beautiful,
though awkward and loud.
He onced seemed polite,
though calloused and shy.
Rage spins loosely...

Empty halls echo with
laughter once known,
now forgotten...
lost in crowds of nothing.
The black nothing that swallows
light and life.

Cassanova sits,
Delilah bleeds.

And the prevalent "they" watched
and turned their heads
from the shame
and joined in the blame.

Failure is an option

Knowing when to ask for help is probably one of the most difficult abilities to master. It is never easy to say, "I need help." For most people it is easier to say, "Can I help you?" We live in a society where we are told that we can have it all but in order to be able to have it all..., you have to be able to do it all. Not easy when time is divided between work, family, friends, school, church, activism, volunteering, promoting, blogging, commuting, birthday parties, baseball practice and games, rehearsals and performances, doctor's visits for both family members and pets, yard work, laundry, paying bills and running errands..., the list is endless. really.

It helps to just know you need help. What is it? Admitting there is a problem is the first step to curing the problem. Yea, right. Expectations are where the problem really lies. When you expect something of yourself or of someone in your life, there is great risk at being let down. So..., is the right avenue to lower our expectations? Or would it be better to learn acceptance and understand that everyone is fighting some kind of personal battle, everyone. No one is perfect, no one has it under control, no one.

So, put on your armor daily, sharpen your sword, and face your jabberwocky with courage and the distinction that only you can.

"Success is the ability to go from one failure to another with no loss of enthusiasm."
Winston Churchill

Remember: failure can be valuable... If you do not risk failure, you risk growing and learning. The education of life is more costly and dear than a PhD...

So say "Ha!" to your greatest adversary: time. Take risks and find comfort knowing you don't have to fight anyone else's battle... just your own.

What is Normal?

Is it when your day goes perfect? Is it when there is a mom, dad, 2.5 kids and a dog? Is it when you order a hamburger and fries? Or maybe a hot dog with ketchup and mustard? Maybe it's when you are always the perfect weight. Or you never get fired. Or perhaps it is when you live to be 79.2 years old.

Is it when you like coffee with one sugar and one creamer? Or you like Seinfeld but not Will and Grace... or when you get your license on your sixteenth birthday or you have a new job every six years... Or your first job, fresh out of college, you made $30K annually. Or you drive a five-year old car and you'll keep driving it for two more years because now it is paid for. Or you like to go to the movies on Friday night..., or you prefer butter on your popcorn.

Maybe it's when your son gets three A's and three B's and your daughter gets four A's and two B's? Or you pull weeds once a month... or you prefer 75 degrees to 85 degrees... Maybe you go to get a physical exam and everything checks out, you are perfect. Could it be when you make the perfect meal and there are no leftovers OR there are leftovers but they get eaten the next day and they taste just as good or even better?

Maybe normal is when you prefer to stay home instead of going out or there are never dirty dishes in the sink or your favorite movie is Shawshank Redemption - like 10 million other people (except they don't really mean it because they don't really get it)... Maybe normal is when no one ever complains about you or remembers you...

You like your steak medium, not rare or well-done. Your hair looks perfect everyday and you get a trim every six weeks like clock work. Your dog doesn't eat your shoes OR pee in the house.

It must be when your flight departs and arrives on time, with absolutely no complications or when the drive-thru never forgets that extra order of fries. You are never late and there is never traffic... No one is ever offended by what you said or did. You are understood, at all times and in all things..., that's good one, huh?

If there is such a thing as normal, I have never seen it and probably never will. Therefore, we must learn to live with our idiosyncrasies and with those around us who believe THEY are the normal ones.

So ,unless you are talking about the city in Illinois (Normal, IL: population 50,000)..., I, personally don't believe it exists.

Shifting Paradigms

Narrow views of life become like a trap, not allowing one to experience as much as possible.
Welcoming new people and new ideas in to your realm and learning to understand and accept that we are all different will shape your future and allow for a lifetime of generative learning.

Recognizing that one does, indeed, have narrow views is only half the battle. Pledge to open your eyes and heart and learn as much as possible, keeping an open mind to alternative beliefs and ways in which to live. This simple approach will allow love and peace into your life, more than could possibly imagined.

Life moves on and we learn to deal with changes and differences or... we don't.

Nobody put it better than Dylan...

Come gather 'round people
Wherever you roam
And admit that the waters
Around you have grown
And accept it that soon
You'll be drenched to the bone.
If your time to you
Is worth savin'
Then you better start swimmin'
Or you'll sink like a stone
For the times they are a-changin'...

"Gee, I don't suppose there's anything in that black bag for me..."

Life reveals many surprises along the way. Every day should serve as a reminder of just how precious this life is and how we should do better. After all, with no quest for improvement, we would stagnate or be so full of ourselves that no one could stand us..., except for ourselves, of course. A man wrapped up in himself makes a very small package, indeed.

One is the loneliest number that you'll ever know...
No man is an island...
Man cannot live by bread alone...

and, The wise man built his house upon the rock.

What is the rock? It has been interpreted many different ways. Think of that "one thing" that Curly (Jack Palance) alludes to in City Slickers. It is your "one thing" that your house should be built upon, that gives you strength, that gets you up in the morning, that gets you through your day, that helps you make it through the night, that is or becomes your driving force. You have to decide what that is...

Is it your God?
Is it your family?
Is it your work?
Is it your friends?
Is it you, yourself?

No one person or thing can make you happy. Only you can make you happy...
My mother has said often, "You are about as happy as you make your mind up to be." Our happiness comes from within, it cannot come from an outside source or from being loved.
However, if you love, if you give..., well now, that's a different story, isn't it?
That is one true thing.

I think the Great and Powerful Oz had it wrong. A heart isn't judged by how much you are loved by others BUT by how much you love. And forgiveness? That's the hard part.
For as impractical as a breakable heart is, how can one possibly know true joy without also knowing pain...

A room with a view

When I was young, the days, weeks, and months seemed to drag by. Even the minutes waiting for the last bell at school never passed fast enough. Birthdays and Christmas: seemed like forever before they arrived...
When you are ten, a year represents 10% of your life. As we age, that percentage decreases dramatically. Upon reaching fifty years old, a year is merely 2% of that lifetime.
So, comparatively, that year represents a much smaller portion, overall...

When my great-grandmother was in her 9o's, I always thought her days must have gone soooo slow. She couldn't care for herself any longer, she couldn't really do anything except sit in a chair and look out the window. Did her latter years go by quickly because they only represented 1/90th of her life or because her activity was so little, did the speed of time return to the perception she had in her youth and it moved incredibly slow?

It seems like these days, in my own life, I blink and my children have grown or an event I had been anticipating has come and gone quicker than I had a chance to relish it. Or worse, a loved one passes before you have a chance to tell them you love them and are thankful for their presence in your life.

Embrace the brief moments we are given; enjoy being with the ones you love , and take pictures.

And every once and a while, pause to look out the window because the view will be very different when you are 90.

gone fishin'

pleasure and peace rarely exist in this world.
to find both, simultaneously, is joyous
and seldom happens.
there are moments, however...

these moments make the rest of life tolerable, livable and worth it.

recognition of said moments is sometimes impossible
and requires an open mind and time to reflect...
enjoy or it is gone and not noticed at all.

grasp it and commit it to memory,
for it is fleeting
and a return engagement is usually non-negotiable
and in some cases, forbidden.

living out

Learn as if you were to live forever and live as if tomorrow were your last day...
Can we ever know all we should? Living is about learning, growing, and ultimately, changing. The one constant in this crazy world in which we live? Change. We have to continuously learn in order to keep up. Technology is always evolving; providing new ways to communicate, educate and enforce.

Find your constants and follow your dreams...
~love who you are and practice self-control
~love what you do - work or play
~love who you are with - they may be gone tomorrow
and live your life out, let go of regrets and sweet will be your reward.

rat-a-tat

Do you hear the knocking? That's opportunity and it is there every morning. It rises before you do. So..., get off your duff, walk to the door and open it. It's there waiting for you. You just have to meet it halfway and grab a hold. There may be work involved.

But..., you better answer or it may stop knocking. It may skip your door tomorrow.
Trust me, you don't want that.