Failure is an option

Knowing when to ask for help is probably one of the most difficult abilities to master. It is never easy to say, "I need help." For most people it is easier to say, "Can I help you?" We live in a society where we are told that we can have it all but in order to be able to have it all..., you have to be able to do it all. Not easy when time is divided between work, family, friends, school, church, activism, volunteering, promoting, blogging, commuting, birthday parties, baseball practice and games, rehearsals and performances, doctor's visits for both family members and pets, yard work, laundry, paying bills and running errands..., the list is endless. really.

It helps to just know you need help. What is it? Admitting there is a problem is the first step to curing the problem. Yea, right. Expectations are where the problem really lies. When you expect something of yourself or of someone in your life, there is great risk at being let down. So..., is the right avenue to lower our expectations? Or would it be better to learn acceptance and understand that everyone is fighting some kind of personal battle, everyone. No one is perfect, no one has it under control, no one.

So, put on your armor daily, sharpen your sword, and face your jabberwocky with courage and the distinction that only you can.

"Success is the ability to go from one failure to another with no loss of enthusiasm."
Winston Churchill

Remember: failure can be valuable... If you do not risk failure, you risk growing and learning. The education of life is more costly and dear than a PhD...

So say "Ha!" to your greatest adversary: time. Take risks and find comfort knowing you don't have to fight anyone else's battle... just your own.

What is Normal?

Is it when your day goes perfect? Is it when there is a mom, dad, 2.5 kids and a dog? Is it when you order a hamburger and fries? Or maybe a hot dog with ketchup and mustard? Maybe it's when you are always the perfect weight. Or you never get fired. Or perhaps it is when you live to be 79.2 years old.

Is it when you like coffee with one sugar and one creamer? Or you like Seinfeld but not Will and Grace... or when you get your license on your sixteenth birthday or you have a new job every six years... Or your first job, fresh out of college, you made $30K annually. Or you drive a five-year old car and you'll keep driving it for two more years because now it is paid for. Or you like to go to the movies on Friday night..., or you prefer butter on your popcorn.

Maybe it's when your son gets three A's and three B's and your daughter gets four A's and two B's? Or you pull weeds once a month... or you prefer 75 degrees to 85 degrees... Maybe you go to get a physical exam and everything checks out, you are perfect. Could it be when you make the perfect meal and there are no leftovers OR there are leftovers but they get eaten the next day and they taste just as good or even better?

Maybe normal is when you prefer to stay home instead of going out or there are never dirty dishes in the sink or your favorite movie is Shawshank Redemption - like 10 million other people (except they don't really mean it because they don't really get it)... Maybe normal is when no one ever complains about you or remembers you...

You like your steak medium, not rare or well-done. Your hair looks perfect everyday and you get a trim every six weeks like clock work. Your dog doesn't eat your shoes OR pee in the house.

It must be when your flight departs and arrives on time, with absolutely no complications or when the drive-thru never forgets that extra order of fries. You are never late and there is never traffic... No one is ever offended by what you said or did. You are understood, at all times and in all things..., that's good one, huh?

If there is such a thing as normal, I have never seen it and probably never will. Therefore, we must learn to live with our idiosyncrasies and with those around us who believe THEY are the normal ones.

So ,unless you are talking about the city in Illinois (Normal, IL: population 50,000)..., I, personally don't believe it exists.

"Gee, I don't suppose there's anything in that black bag for me..."

Life reveals many surprises along the way. Every day should serve as a reminder of just how precious this life is and how we should do better. After all, with no quest for improvement, we would stagnate or be so full of ourselves that no one could stand us..., except for ourselves, of course. A man wrapped up in himself makes a very small package, indeed.

One is the loneliest number that you'll ever know...
No man is an island...
Man cannot live by bread alone...

and, The wise man built his house upon the rock.

What is the rock? It has been interpreted many different ways. Think of that "one thing" that Curly (Jack Palance) alludes to in City Slickers. It is your "one thing" that your house should be built upon, that gives you strength, that gets you up in the morning, that gets you through your day, that helps you make it through the night, that is or becomes your driving force. You have to decide what that is...

Is it your God?
Is it your family?
Is it your work?
Is it your friends?
Is it you, yourself?

No one person or thing can make you happy. Only you can make you happy...
My mother has said often, "You are about as happy as you make your mind up to be." Our happiness comes from within, it cannot come from an outside source or from being loved.
However, if you love, if you give..., well now, that's a different story, isn't it?
That is one true thing.

I think the Great and Powerful Oz had it wrong. A heart isn't judged by how much you are loved by others BUT by how much you love. And forgiveness? That's the hard part.
For as impractical as a breakable heart is, how can one possibly know true joy without also knowing pain...

A room with a view

When I was young, the days, weeks, and months seemed to drag by. Even the minutes waiting for the last bell at school never passed fast enough. Birthdays and Christmas: seemed like forever before they arrived...
When you are ten, a year represents 10% of your life. As we age, that percentage decreases dramatically. Upon reaching fifty years old, a year is merely 2% of that lifetime.
So, comparatively, that year represents a much smaller portion, overall...

When my great-grandmother was in her 9o's, I always thought her days must have gone soooo slow. She couldn't care for herself any longer, she couldn't really do anything except sit in a chair and look out the window. Did her latter years go by quickly because they only represented 1/90th of her life or because her activity was so little, did the speed of time return to the perception she had in her youth and it moved incredibly slow?

It seems like these days, in my own life, I blink and my children have grown or an event I had been anticipating has come and gone quicker than I had a chance to relish it. Or worse, a loved one passes before you have a chance to tell them you love them and are thankful for their presence in your life.

Embrace the brief moments we are given; enjoy being with the ones you love , and take pictures.

And every once and a while, pause to look out the window because the view will be very different when you are 90.

gone fishin'

pleasure and peace rarely exist in this world.
to find both, simultaneously, is joyous
and seldom happens.
there are moments, however...

these moments make the rest of life tolerable, livable and worth it.

recognition of said moments is sometimes impossible
and requires an open mind and time to reflect...
enjoy or it is gone and not noticed at all.

grasp it and commit it to memory,
for it is fleeting
and a return engagement is usually non-negotiable
and in some cases, forbidden.

living out

Learn as if you were to live forever and live as if tomorrow were your last day...
Can we ever know all we should? Living is about learning, growing, and ultimately, changing. The one constant in this crazy world in which we live? Change. We have to continuously learn in order to keep up. Technology is always evolving; providing new ways to communicate, educate and enforce.

Find your constants and follow your dreams...
~love who you are and practice self-control
~love what you do - work or play
~love who you are with - they may be gone tomorrow
and live your life out, let go of regrets and sweet will be your reward.

rat-a-tat

Do you hear the knocking? That's opportunity and it is there every morning. It rises before you do. So..., get off your duff, walk to the door and open it. It's there waiting for you. You just have to meet it halfway and grab a hold. There may be work involved.

But..., you better answer or it may stop knocking. It may skip your door tomorrow.
Trust me, you don't want that.