Streaming rays

How can it be that thoughts stop
when I am still moving?

How can it be that words
mean more than they did before?

Amazing the grace that saves
those who search and seek.
Calming the tides
that slowly rise to meet that
time and place.

I heard news of stillness
and change.
Hope brings life full cycle and
light shakes out the dread
and sorrow
unneeded for now.

Streaming on faces
are rays that sear tomorrow's joys
and erase the lines of yesterday.
Warmth unknown and treasures
not yet found
await the dreamers and keepers
of pierced hearts and open souls.

Hush sounds the chimes
of new-fallen snow,
cleaning spiritual slates
and spinning clocks
of impassioned affection.

sweet is the word.
sweet is the thought.

I miss you

I miss you.


my heart still beats.
is it possible
that it hasn't all been
dashed against the rocks of time...

my ears still yearn.
hearing brings delight
to a soul twisted and ravaged
by inconsistencies and blame.

constellations await
new light and fire.
skipping beats
trip a heart yet,
somehow, save a soul.

it waits for me

Lost in a sea
of words and links.
Am I here at all,
or just a planned figment...

Found in a room
of pleasure and pain.
So sure it was better
for all concerned.

Scoping the horizon,
seeing hope and affection
where once there was none,
only gasping breaths
of a time gone by.

Now clean lines
and sleek dips
grace new days
of reform and joys
not yet known.

It is safe here...,
surrounded by arms
of family and love.
Affection so sweet
and warm,
no expiration date.
Just seas of glass and
music in bloom.

Smooth sailing from here
to beyond eternity.
...it waits for me still.

coconut and caramel

I once heard about coconut dreams
and caramel cores,
I didn't believe they existed.

I saw unicorns and dragons
in flickering light.
I wanted to believe they grazed
and braised.

I yearned for castles in the air,
princes on white horses
that saved days and damsels.
I hoped they were real.

But dinosaurs come at night
stealing hearts and
torture me
'til quaking.

shhhh...,
soft breezes I hear.
Think and release...

Years of chains fall
meekly away
when softened by strength
in numbers
and smothered
by the freeing light
of internal poise.

Coconut dreams and caramel cores;
a place where
traces of rays
lift and light.

Chains no more.
Just a wide open shore
of possibilities...

Cassanova and Delilah

Cassanova sits on the stairs
Shirt bloodied and torn.
Blame spews out of him
like the flames of hell.

Delilah quakes in the corner,
twirling the ring on her finger,
hot blood drips down her chin
and runs cold through her heart.

He maniacally broke through
the heavy door,
carelessly tossing aside dreams
and long-lost hopes,
drenched in despair.

She cowered in awe
of what had become
the norm of her so-called life;
duck and cover,
the flames licked so close.

She once seemed beautiful,
though awkward and loud.
He onced seemed polite,
though calloused and shy.
Rage spins loosely...

Empty halls echo with
laughter once known,
now forgotten...
lost in crowds of nothing.
The black nothing that swallows
light and life.

Cassanova sits,
Delilah bleeds.

And the prevalent "they" watched
and turned their heads
from the shame
and joined in the blame.

Failure is an option

Knowing when to ask for help is probably one of the most difficult abilities to master. It is never easy to say, "I need help." For most people it is easier to say, "Can I help you?" We live in a society where we are told that we can have it all but in order to be able to have it all..., you have to be able to do it all. Not easy when time is divided between work, family, friends, school, church, activism, volunteering, promoting, blogging, commuting, birthday parties, baseball practice and games, rehearsals and performances, doctor's visits for both family members and pets, yard work, laundry, paying bills and running errands..., the list is endless. really.

It helps to just know you need help. What is it? Admitting there is a problem is the first step to curing the problem. Yea, right. Expectations are where the problem really lies. When you expect something of yourself or of someone in your life, there is great risk at being let down. So..., is the right avenue to lower our expectations? Or would it be better to learn acceptance and understand that everyone is fighting some kind of personal battle, everyone. No one is perfect, no one has it under control, no one.

So, put on your armor daily, sharpen your sword, and face your jabberwocky with courage and the distinction that only you can.

"Success is the ability to go from one failure to another with no loss of enthusiasm."
Winston Churchill

Remember: failure can be valuable... If you do not risk failure, you risk growing and learning. The education of life is more costly and dear than a PhD...

So say "Ha!" to your greatest adversary: time. Take risks and find comfort knowing you don't have to fight anyone else's battle... just your own.

What is Normal?

Is it when your day goes perfect? Is it when there is a mom, dad, 2.5 kids and a dog? Is it when you order a hamburger and fries? Or maybe a hot dog with ketchup and mustard? Maybe it's when you are always the perfect weight. Or you never get fired. Or perhaps it is when you live to be 79.2 years old.

Is it when you like coffee with one sugar and one creamer? Or you like Seinfeld but not Will and Grace... or when you get your license on your sixteenth birthday or you have a new job every six years... Or your first job, fresh out of college, you made $30K annually. Or you drive a five-year old car and you'll keep driving it for two more years because now it is paid for. Or you like to go to the movies on Friday night..., or you prefer butter on your popcorn.

Maybe it's when your son gets three A's and three B's and your daughter gets four A's and two B's? Or you pull weeds once a month... or you prefer 75 degrees to 85 degrees... Maybe you go to get a physical exam and everything checks out, you are perfect. Could it be when you make the perfect meal and there are no leftovers OR there are leftovers but they get eaten the next day and they taste just as good or even better?

Maybe normal is when you prefer to stay home instead of going out or there are never dirty dishes in the sink or your favorite movie is Shawshank Redemption - like 10 million other people (except they don't really mean it because they don't really get it)... Maybe normal is when no one ever complains about you or remembers you...

You like your steak medium, not rare or well-done. Your hair looks perfect everyday and you get a trim every six weeks like clock work. Your dog doesn't eat your shoes OR pee in the house.

It must be when your flight departs and arrives on time, with absolutely no complications or when the drive-thru never forgets that extra order of fries. You are never late and there is never traffic... No one is ever offended by what you said or did. You are understood, at all times and in all things..., that's good one, huh?

If there is such a thing as normal, I have never seen it and probably never will. Therefore, we must learn to live with our idiosyncrasies and with those around us who believe THEY are the normal ones.

So ,unless you are talking about the city in Illinois (Normal, IL: population 50,000)..., I, personally don't believe it exists.

Shifting Paradigms

Narrow views of life become like a trap, not allowing one to experience as much as possible.
Welcoming new people and new ideas in to your realm and learning to understand and accept that we are all different will shape your future and allow for a lifetime of generative learning.

Recognizing that one does, indeed, have narrow views is only half the battle. Pledge to open your eyes and heart and learn as much as possible, keeping an open mind to alternative beliefs and ways in which to live. This simple approach will allow love and peace into your life, more than could possibly imagined.

Life moves on and we learn to deal with changes and differences or... we don't.

Nobody put it better than Dylan...

Come gather 'round people
Wherever you roam
And admit that the waters
Around you have grown
And accept it that soon
You'll be drenched to the bone.
If your time to you
Is worth savin'
Then you better start swimmin'
Or you'll sink like a stone
For the times they are a-changin'...

"Gee, I don't suppose there's anything in that black bag for me..."

Life reveals many surprises along the way. Every day should serve as a reminder of just how precious this life is and how we should do better. After all, with no quest for improvement, we would stagnate or be so full of ourselves that no one could stand us..., except for ourselves, of course. A man wrapped up in himself makes a very small package, indeed.

One is the loneliest number that you'll ever know...
No man is an island...
Man cannot live by bread alone...

and, The wise man built his house upon the rock.

What is the rock? It has been interpreted many different ways. Think of that "one thing" that Curly (Jack Palance) alludes to in City Slickers. It is your "one thing" that your house should be built upon, that gives you strength, that gets you up in the morning, that gets you through your day, that helps you make it through the night, that is or becomes your driving force. You have to decide what that is...

Is it your God?
Is it your family?
Is it your work?
Is it your friends?
Is it you, yourself?

No one person or thing can make you happy. Only you can make you happy...
My mother has said often, "You are about as happy as you make your mind up to be." Our happiness comes from within, it cannot come from an outside source or from being loved.
However, if you love, if you give..., well now, that's a different story, isn't it?
That is one true thing.

I think the Great and Powerful Oz had it wrong. A heart isn't judged by how much you are loved by others BUT by how much you love. And forgiveness? That's the hard part.
For as impractical as a breakable heart is, how can one possibly know true joy without also knowing pain...

A room with a view

When I was young, the days, weeks, and months seemed to drag by. Even the minutes waiting for the last bell at school never passed fast enough. Birthdays and Christmas: seemed like forever before they arrived...
When you are ten, a year represents 10% of your life. As we age, that percentage decreases dramatically. Upon reaching fifty years old, a year is merely 2% of that lifetime.
So, comparatively, that year represents a much smaller portion, overall...

When my great-grandmother was in her 9o's, I always thought her days must have gone soooo slow. She couldn't care for herself any longer, she couldn't really do anything except sit in a chair and look out the window. Did her latter years go by quickly because they only represented 1/90th of her life or because her activity was so little, did the speed of time return to the perception she had in her youth and it moved incredibly slow?

It seems like these days, in my own life, I blink and my children have grown or an event I had been anticipating has come and gone quicker than I had a chance to relish it. Or worse, a loved one passes before you have a chance to tell them you love them and are thankful for their presence in your life.

Embrace the brief moments we are given; enjoy being with the ones you love , and take pictures.

And every once and a while, pause to look out the window because the view will be very different when you are 90.